"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times..."--the opening lines of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, one of my favorite English writers. Since I last posted to my blog 1/22, I have experienced, for me, first the worst and now the best of times. As I wait to go up to Johns Hopkins 3/5 for my CT scan and to meet with Dr. Cameron, a surgeon and the "go to guy" for the Whipple Procedure, I am thinking back over the past 5 weeks reflecting on "the good and the bad."
I valiantly wore the chemo-infusion fanny pack from 1/23 to 1/27 and was able to move around pretty well. Steph was with me until Tuesday and it meant so much. She even went with me to my Welcome Back class at St. Joan of Arc Monday night along with my college buddy, Karen. Before I knew it, Tuesday morning we were at Mass and I had the sacrament of Reconciliation with Father Mike; it was a a transformative event for me. He also performed the Sacrament of Healing for me right after Mass and I felt so blessed. Hope started to re-appear for me even in the face of the week of chemo. When the pack came off that Friday, I went into a period of feeling very weak, always pre-nausious and uinterested in food. I missed our big school Soiree at the end of the semester, but I just couldn't get myself together to go--afraid I would get sick and have to leave. Not going also made me so sad since I miss my teacher friends so much.
I started to feel better near the beginning of February and my appetite came back! Folks from school kept bringing food and we started to eat part and freeze the other so we are all set for March! On February 6, I had radiation treatment #28--the final one and I came home, not just "glowing" from the radiation (at least Chuck says I glow!), but with a certificate in hand that I had completed this part of my treatment. I called up to Hopkins to let them know about the milestone, and Bonnie, Dr. Cameron's nurse said let's set up your CT for a month from then, March 5. That gives the body a chance to recover even though the chemo and radiation are still at work; when the doctor reviews the CT scan, he will know whether sugery is an option. My hope is that it will be.
My sisters have also always been right there with me throughout this process. We talked about another sister weekend and where did we want to go? What did I want? What I decided I wanted was for them to come to my house and "hang out" for the weekend of 2/10-12. Before we hung out, though, they all came down Friday in time to go with me (along with Chuck) to my doctor's appointment at 11 am! We all trooped in so that the little office expanded with Clawson girls talking and laughing! My doctor thought it was pretty amazing! She even had a doctor in training who witnessed it all--probably a first in her new career! We had a great weekend of being together. Saturday we went to the movies and met Chuck at Ruby Tuesdays for dinner at 5. That's when the magic started! We looked out the window and it was snowing--looked like a blizzard--so unbelieveable. We were able to drive home safely, thank goodness. I was all set to hit the hot tub so we all did--still snowing. It was so wonderful to look up at the sky with the snow coming down on our faces and the steam coming up from the tub. One memorable evening! Hope in the hot tub with sisters!
The next weekend we took a fast trip up to visit Steph, Marvin and the girls. Got there about noon on Saturday knowing that their area (Christiansburg) was due for a pretty big snow Sunday. We crammed a lot of family time in that short period. We had dinner I brought made by one of my wonderful teacher friends; we watched ET with the girls--their new favorite movie and simply enjoyed being a family. My love for them overwhelms me and their hope for me is contagious. I have some special cards they made for me that I have added to my "notebook" which not only has medical info but also anything else, such as their notes, that inspires me. We bolted on Sunday about 10 since the snow had started and we wanted to get ahead of it. We did. Came home to just rain in our area.
So, my blog entry tonight seems to be a little more experiencial rather than reflective, but I will end with me musing about what next Monday will bring. I have so much hope that the treatment and all of the many prayers will produce the "miracle" that we want. I'll have Steph and Chuck with me and whatever the news, we will move forward with the next steps. I am at peace and know that I am loved and cared for by many and by God.
